1. You wear heels, and immediately regret your decision.
The foot sadness is real. This was a big mistake. Big. HUGE.
2. That feeling when your date looks nothing like they did in their pictures.
You were looking forward to a date with a tall dark-haired pillar of man, but you’re actually sitting across from an average blonde dude who probably owns a lizard. What is happening.
3. When your date literally never stops talking about him or herself.
Like the guy who brags about his fantasy team five times before the appetizers arrive. Boring! “Lets talk about me now.”
4. When they tell you how their ex was really beautiful and smart. More than once.
“Cool. Thanks for letting me know.”
5. That moment when you realize you have *literally nothing* in common.
Like, he loves “rap and country,” and you’re worried your tastes are too niche, and are you destined to be single forever?
6. There’s the guy who pulls out his phone to check emails, i.e. Tinder.
It’s cool, you’ll just sit there.
7. Or that guy who reveals himself to be a little racist, or sexist, or obsessed with his mother.
8. Occasionally you actually like the person, and nervous laughter takes hold.
You’re borderline hysterical. Is this embarrassing? They look worried.
9. You’re saying the wrong things… you’re bombing…
Like, you keep saying “like” way more often than you actually, like, do in real life. HELP.
10. …and now you’ve accidentally overdone the wine.
Welcome to Drunk Town, population: your face. Now your date knows how many kids you want, and what their names will be, aaaaand there’s probably not going to be a second date.
11. Wait… your date has spinach in their teeth.
Do you have spinach in your teeth? Bathroom break. BREAK TIME.
12. There’s that confounding moment when the check arrives.
Should you split the check? Should you pay? Should he pay? SKLGIQ%USLGH.
13. And finally, that painfully awkward goodbye kiss.
Or, basically hugging/knocking into each other and rushing in opposite directions.