1. Every day, women face insurmountable difficulties to understand food. These are their struggles.

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2. There is the heartbreaking tale of the woman who mistook her pineapple for her hat.

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3. When will the world create less violent ways of accessing cake? Womankind wants answers.

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4. Candy is a minefield of choice and sensory overload that few women can handle.

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5. The distinctly female experience of finding out that your earrings don’t match…and were actually never earrings at all.

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6. When faced with several grilled meats, many women become disoriented.

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7. While menus continue their assault on women with brutal mind games that toy with the delicate female psyche.

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8. The eerie similarities between prepared meals and potted plants is the great injustice of our time.

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9. This woman chose to remain anonymous after her nightmarish ordeal with a cantaloupe. Can you blame her?

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10. What’s healthier for my baby, this glass of milk or these totally innocuous and unlabeled prescription drugs? We may never know.

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11. “Maize malaise” is something women face with remarkable bravery, but mostly in silence.

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12. This heated encounter with grass is one that women know all too well.

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13. And why do frying pans look so much like butterfly nets anyway?

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14. It has the shape of a human head, so why doesn’t it talk? Women. Deserve. Better.

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15. The fable of “The Maiden and the Rolling Pin” warned us of what was in store as girls, but there was no way to prepare.

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16. For sadistic culinary riddles that make us wonder, “If this is not a weight, then why does it weigh the same as the weight, huh?”

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17. Chip bags, ladies. Is she right or is she right?

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18. It can take a lifetime to figure out what the fuck is actually up with popsicles.

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19. And for untold numbers of us, the mysteries of food remain until we find eternal rest.

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