1. The Shrimp Christmas Tree

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Spanish Green Olive Commission / Via bonappetit.com

Woof.

2. The Christmas Candle Salad

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Tested Recipe Institute, Inc. / Via vintagerecipecards.com

Bananas, cranberry Jell-O… seems harmless, until you realize the “melted wax” is actually mayo.

3. The Deviled Ham Sandwich Tree

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The star topper is intended to distract from the pile of ham, olives, white bread, and sour cream.

4. The Tuna Christmas Tree

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Not surprised Elf on the Shelf is the one behind this, tbh.

5. This Hot Creamed Diced Ham, Oyster, and Mushroom Dish

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It’s like a fondue of garbage.

6. The Frozen Fruitcake Salad

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Better Homes and Gardens / Via vintagerecipecards.com

Fine, if you’re into mixing sour cream and Cool Whip together.

7. The Holiday Vegetable Loaf

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Ew.

8. Molded Pâté-Cheese Balls

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Rachel W. Miller for BuzzFeed / Via Good Housekeeping’s Complete Christmas Cookbook, 1967

Because nothing says “let’s get this party started!” like liver and cream cheese balls suspended in a meaty gelatin.

9. The Glazed Potato Ring

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I actually didn’t know it was possible to make potatoes look unappealing.

10. The Cranberry “Candles”

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Just cranberry sauce, gelatin, mayo, and an open flame.

11. The Vegetable and Tuna Jell-O Wreath

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Jell-O/General Foods / Via tiddleywink.com

I repeat: VEGETABLE AND TUNA JELL-O WREATH.

12. This Duck Mousse En Gelée

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More meat products floating in beefy Jell-O.

13. This Crime Against Leftovers

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STAHP.

14. The Flaky Christmas Tree

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Happy Holidays! I glued some green corn flakes to a board for you!

15. Hot Dr. Pepper

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can u not?

16. The Ham Chaud-Froid

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Rachel W. Miller for BuzzFeed / Via Good Housekeeping’s Complete Christmas Cookbook, 1967

“Chaud-froid” is French for “ham holding a bunch of ‘ham mousse cornucopias’ and surrounded by a base of sherry Jell-O.” Just FYI.

17. This Decorated Baked Ham

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General Foods Kitchens Cookbook / Via turkeysandwich.wordpress.com

Nope.

18. The Noel Glazed Ham

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Family Circle Magazine / Via tiddleywink.com

Clearly, decorated ham was A Thing.

19. The Christmas “Pudding”

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Sour cream, pasta, raisins, and cheese, huh? That’s the way you want to go?

20. A Meat Star

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Do it for Baby Jesus.

Have you tossed your sugar cookies yet?

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AMC / Via giphy.com

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