1. What time do you usually start eating Thanksgiving dinner?

    1. If it’s later than noon, we’re behind schedule.
    2. Sometime around mid-afternoon.
    3. Early evening — 5 or 6 p.m.
    4. Regular dinnertime.

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  1. How much do you eat during the day leading up to dinner?

    1. NOTHING. Must devote 100% system capacity to Thanksgiving.
    2. Just breakfast, no lunch.
    3. I eat…normally?
    4. Eat extra to EXPAND my stomach for dinner, you amateur.

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  1. Do you believe in eating appetizers before dinner?

    1. Better not to, that space is reserved for mashed potatoes.
    2. Of course, people need SOMETHING to keep them from perpetrating violence.

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  1. Does salad have a place on the Thanksgiving table?

    1. NO LEAVES ALLOWED.
    2. Sure, whatever.
    3. It’s mandatory! Gotta have some roughage to keep everything else moving.

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  1. What is your chosen side carb?

    1. Dinner rolls, bro.
    2. Biscuits, baby.
    3. Cornbread, compadre.
    4. Some other kind of alt carb.
    5. None, side carbs are a useless distraction.

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  1. To baste the turkey or not to baste?
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    1. Baste all day, baste all night.
    2. You know that doesn’t actually do anything, right?

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  1. Do you call it “stuffing” or “dressing”?

    1. It’s stuffing, duh.
    2. It’s definitely dressing.

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  1. Whatever you call it, what do you make it with?

    1. Regular bread.
    2. Cornbread!
    3. Something even more exotic.

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  1. What's your plate-attack strat?

    1. Eat one thing at a time, saving the best for last.
    2. Eat the best thing first in case you run out of stomach space.
    3. Keep food separate but take bites from everything in turn.
    4. Mix everything together. FREE-FOR-ALL.

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  1. Which kind of mashed potatoes is your true potato love?
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    You can learn how to make ALL of them here!

    1. Fluffy mountain.
    2. Creamy & swirly.
    3. Cheesy & tangy.
    4. Garlicky smashed.

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  1. What's your Take on turkey?

    1. Turkey RULES and I wish we could eat it all year.
    2. Sometime’s it’s kinda dry, but whatever, it’s fine.
    3. I would rather eat anything else in the world, tbh.

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  1. At what point of fullness do you stop eating?

    1. Normal full. I’ve learned to pace myself.
    2. Unbutton-my-pants full.
    3. Can’t-feel-my-legs full.
    4. Dead.

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  1. How many pies is the correct number of pies?

    1. 1 pie.
    2. 2 pies.
    3. 3 pies.
    4. 7 pies.
    5. 69 pies.
    6. 420 pies.

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Okay, now let’s finish this with a SNAP DECISION ROUND!

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  1. Marshmallows or pecan stuff on your sweet potatoes?

    1. enhanced-buzz-9423-1416870800-0

      MARSHMALLOWS

    2. enhanced-buzz-23603-1416870820-0

      PECAN STUFF

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  1. Dark meat or white meat?

    1. enhanced-buzz-4290-1416868811-33 Lauren Zaser

      YOU UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE DARK SIDE

    2. enhanced-buzz-3584-1416868838-19 Lauren Zaser

      WALK TOWARD THE LIGHT

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  1. Canned or cooked cranberry sauce?

    1. enhanced-buzz-27494-1416869003-0

      AIN’T CRAN IF IT AIN’T CANNED

    2. enhanced-buzz-14129-1416869032-10

      THE FRESHER THE BETTER

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  1. Pumpkin or pecan pie?

    1. enhanced-buzz-25866-1416869257-15

      GOURD BLESS PUMPKIN

    2. enhanced-buzz-30405-1416869329-28

      PECAN’T LIVE WITHOUT THIS

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